by Sarah Tolmie

My favourite public holiday is New Years Day. It’s like the Universe gifts me a clean slate. A fresh unblemished diary. A new start.

Yes, I am one of those dreamers – waking up for the first day of the year for a sunrise ocean plunge. I love writing gratitudes in a new journal, reflecting on the good, letting go of the bad, making lists, setting stretch targets and lifting my gaze ahead into an array of potential pathways, plans and priorities for the next lap around the Sun.

Speaking with my Mature Muse….my wise mumma owl…I was surprised to learn that where once she was the same, making plans, goals and resolutions – she now doesn’t do this anymore.

Yes there are some key life milestones holding her gaze forward – holidays, social plans and family events – plus some even bigger ones further beyond the horizon, such as graduations and weddings of grandchildren…maybe even great grandchildren…but none of us are hoping for any of that too soon. Trust me. NONE OF US!

It seems, after a certain amount of time post retirement, her trick is to not travel the time line too much in either direction – limiting the journeys into past or planning too far into the future – it’s about finding the pleasure, joy and bliss in the present.

Almost everyone has been exposed to the growing practices of ‘mindfulness’. Along with meditation, yoga, acai berries, green smoothies and coconut oil, ‘mindfulness’ might have even become one of those over-used new age magic pills, that you might be tempted to dismiss its power. Don’t!

Perhaps let me give it a better name. Mindfulness can often conjure up being aware, but with a passive and detached sense of observation. I prefer the term – presence or presencing – it has a better sense of energy. An engagement in the NOW that invites action and interaction.

Being present in the now. Being present to another. Being present in an experience. Being present in a conversation. Being present to someone’s need – or your own – and attending to it is my mumma’s secret to a rewarding and nourishing life. Having that presencing allows for slower, deliberate action.

Mum says her way of being provides for her a sense of calm and equanimity and makes you appreciate each moment.

Practising ‘presence’ can lead to experiencing anything and everything as new, unique and surprising. Going to the shops or going about your weekly routine can bring a new new of adventure, curiosity and connection.

When I worked as a hospital chaplain, I learned the power of this technique of ‘presencing’. It requires you to intentionally be in the now, be fully embodied, activate all the senses, open your heart, and engage your focus to the environment, the people, the situation.

I’ve been giving this practice more effort lately. It’s remarkable. Amazing things happen in this space. Real connection and intimacy. New sensations and heightened experiences. And the wonderful thing is, it produces a way of being in the world that is very unselfish, unstructured and rich.

It hasn’t stopped me stargazing and quantum leaping into the future and joining dots in the dreamscape, however I am taking serious the instruction and modelling from my successful elder mentor mum and bringing balance to the journey. With engagement in the present moment I am literally enjoying the journey as much as the destination.

I am planning for a happy new year and enjoy an happy now year too. I hope you do too.

Sarah Tolmie is a life & love coach, therapist and consultant. Her practice focuses on helping individuals, couples and families navigate, grow and heal through all their life & love events, changes and challenges – including love, marriage & family relationships; success, health & wellness; and grief & loss, as well as coping with illness, dying and death. Sarah is also a Life & Love Celebrant, and Pastoral Care Practitioner, creating profound and meaningful ceremonies for all life & love events. You can visit her website www.sarahtolmie.com.au and receive her Daily Love updates on her Facebook page at Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love.