by Katharine Duck

We hear all the time to teach our daughters to be careful when they go out. We talk with our girls to be vigilant and avoid being vulnerable. To be aware of the dangers of date rape or going to a party and drinking too much and the possibility of being taken advantage of.

These are important conversations that we should continue to have with our daughters. However, we should also be teaching our sons to respect girls. That she is not some object that can be treated inappropriately or force her to do something against her will. Our sons need to be aware that a girl may say no and that he must stop immediately. The girl should not be made to feel as though she has done something wrong or tried to be convinced that she should continue.

It is difficult when songs, tv shows and movies degrade women. As parents we can correct the inappropriate words or behaviour and explain that this is not how to treat the opposite sex. It is essential for a father to model respectful behaviour towards his spouse and his daughters. Positive role modelling enables our sons to see the interaction between his dad and his mother and sisters. Education on appropriate behaviour starts within the home.

Our daughters should feel safe and treated appropriately when in the company of boys. She is not someone to be passed around, to be photographed in compromising positions and shared on social media. Our sons should be aware of the dangers and consequences that come with this action.

Encouraging early friendships with the opposite sex can help to facilitate respect when our sons are older. Teach them to stand up for women, including their sisters. Pornography should be discouraged as it depicts women as sexual creatures.

It is important as parents to have many conversations with our sons about respecting girls who will grow into women. Talk about being a gentleman and how a girl should be treated. What are the consequences of forcing themselves onto a girl, the lifelong ramifications that can occur. How one costly decision can change many lives in that one moment and will never be the same again.

There are no excuses for disrespecting a girl’s right to say no at any time and our sons have to know to stop instantly. I know my son will continue to learn to respect his mother, sister, girls and women and they are to be treated with respect and kindness.

Katharine Duck is at Counsellor in Erina, she has recently joined the practice at Decoding Dyslexia. Katharine works with children and adults to gain insight and understanding into life’s issues. Her aim is to empower the individual to strengthen their skills at dealing with stresses that may surface at times.